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API: Sports: Golf

USGA and ATF Search for Oklahoma Golfer

Press Release

September 20, 2010

The USGA was recently alerted to psychotic ramblings appearing on the internet from Broken Arrow, OK golfer "Bogey" Brown.  In turn, the USGA has now alerted ATF agents in Oklahoma as to the possibility that a friendly golf competition has taken a fatal turn when a picture of Brown’s golf bag surfaced Sunday.  In the picture a weapon is seen protruding from the golf bag.  A local expert identified the weapon as one normally used by Al Queida extremists, which further punctuates the need to neutralize a possible sleeper cell occupying the Brown residence.

After a favorable USGA ruling of a recent golf championship played for the coveted Tulsa Golf Challenge Champion medal, Brown’s rantings became increasingly incoherent as he attempted to cast doubt on the moral character of competitor “Ace” Middleton.  Brown’s accusations that Middleton violated no less than 100 rules of golf enroute to winning the coveted medal were researched by the USGA, and found to be the aimless ramblings of a truly sick person.

Underscoring the need to apprehend Brown as quickly as possible, Middleton has not been seen playing a round of golf since winning the medal.  When the attached picture of Brown’s golf bag appeared on the internet Sunday, officials stated they “Fear the worst”.

A representative of the American Psychiatric Association who examined the emails and the picture states this is a classic case of golf nuttiness, and fits the profile of a very dangerous person.

Undercover agents of the federal government have been stationed in pro shops around the Tulsa area hoping to apprehend Brown before he possibly harms someone else.